Its been forever...

About a year ago, I was going through one of the hardest moments in my life. I put my trust in the wrong person, tried to help a loser, and they backstabbed me. But karma has a way of getting her due and this person paid dearly for their sick treachery. DEARLY, as in losing EVERYTHING. But that's what happens to shitty people. Since then I have diligently worked on rebuilding my life and have come a long way. I haven't written anything in years. I long to, but due to having my elderly mom living with me, I can't. In order to write I cloister myself for days, immersed in my alternate reality. She would never understand why I do that. She doesn't even support my writing nor have I gone into detail the nature of my books. Any sexual theme has always been pretty taboo when it comes to discussions with the person who brought me into this world. So, for now, I've put writing aside. I would like to go back to it once I retire and I still have 11 more years for that. In the meanwhile, since most of my retirement plans were derailed by an entity who shall remain anonymous, I have been forced to start again in my path to securing my future for retirement. I dont have too much time, but I'm doing surprisingly well financially. Makes me regret not having disengaged that ball and chain from my ankle sooner. I thought of taking on a new pen name and trying my hand at less erotic themes. It gets boring after a while and I just crave the spinning of a good story. I've also thought of actually writing about my life, but that would be a shocker and I would probably be shunned by many who are in my life (and some who no longer are). Something to think about. Anyhoo, this was fun after 11 years. Hmmm... 11 years later and 11 years till retirement. 11:11. I'm on the right path.

THE DREAM...

A very long time ago, I had this very erotic dream... a man, who was part angel and part demon, was trapped in a frozen state and he needed me to free him.
That was the birth of Devon, but back then he had another name. I began to write, but never finished my story. Due to depression and all the other sick shit that was going on in my miserable life at the time, I developed writers block.
I finally got my shit together, got tired of being used as a doormat and was reborn. For the past fifteen years I've been discovering who I really am, living my life as I damn well please, making goals for myself and not letting anything get in my way. I learned to love myself for who and what I am and learned to be the picture of how I choose to see myself and not the reflection of how others choose to see me. I am a free spirit, the only thing that binds me is the love I feel for my children, my two beautiful daughters and my handsome autistic son.
Even though I feel I went through hell and back in the past, it made me the person I am today, strong, independent, proud of having crawled up out of the black abyss I had allowed myself to sink into. I don't dwell on the hurts of the past, there's nothing I can do to change everything that happened, but I sure as hell am NOT going to let the demons of my past ruin my future. That I control... no one else. After I changed the way I thought by thinking positive, doors opened for me as though by magic (maybe it was)! Everything I've set out to do I've accomplished with a lot of hard work and dedication... and now I start a new chapter in my life as a writer.
My angels are very much alive in my mind; Devon, Angel, Remien, Raguel, Sethaliel, Amaranth, Lucien, Rein, Rayne, Zachariel, Alondra, Anniel, Ashriel, and now Davariel... my beautiful baby, who really started it all.
My first blog is about Fallen Angel, Davariel's story...SCI-FI/PARANORMAL/FANTASY/EROTICA.
Considered the most beautiful humanoid being ever created, Davariel was revered almost as a god, when in reality he was nothing more than a vain, spoiled brat. He becomes a prisoner of his own popularity and it's only when he himself becomes interested in another Seraphian girl does he begin to chafe at the imposed restrictions that bind his kind. He had been born with black wings and therefore was a Holy Reaper, or Death Angel. Reapers, because they were so rare among Seraphians and because of their unique powers were forbidden to take on a life mate. They had to remain forever celibate or renounce their rank and leave the planet forever. Davariel chooses to renounce his rank, in hopes of capturing the girl's heart, but is sent away to guard one of the portals of hell for a hundred years in order to be discharged honorably.
When he learns that his being sent so far away was only a treacherous ploy so he would forever lose the object of his desire, he rebels in the worst way possible. His heart becomes enraged and filled with hatred, making him commit the unforgivable sin of accepting a demon sword and cutting off his beautiful black wings. The angel falls from grace and becomes a slave to powerful demons who want him to open a rift between the middle realm and the realm of the abyss. He becomes the reigning dark prince. He must search for the most powerful being in the galaxy whose essence is pure and use the blood of this powerful virgin to anoint his sword and break open the gates of hell.
Luciel Wong is the most powerful Edenian Master Guardian. Her destiny is to slay the beautiful fallen angel anyway she can. If she can't kill him by challenging him with her sword, then she must make him submit to her, taking advantage of his ultimate weakness... his ravenous appetite for sex. She was told she had to cut his wings and pierce his heart with her sword... destroy it so that the demons would not be able to revive him. It seemed like an easy enough task, but things aren't always as they seem.
She realized that he was only a tormented slave of the demons, forced to do their bidding or suffer horrendous tortures. Davariel began to change, confusing her, making her feel things she shouldn't... making her feel love.
No one had ever truly loved him before. He'd only been the object of lustful desires. Now he wanted to save her, sacrifice his own life if need be by taking her and rendering her useless for the sacrifice.
The demons allow this to happen and for a while Davariel thinks he has won, until he realizes the ulterior motives of his evil masters. They no longer need Luciel as the ultimate powerful sacrifice, nor do they need him as the dark prince of destruction. All they need is growing within Luciel's womb. His sons.